It's been awhile.

I know, I know, it's been far too long. In reality, I don't even have a good excuse as to why I haven't posted in awhile. In reality, it's probably mostly because I've been totally lazy for way to long. Ok. So....life. Life is good.

For the past 2 months, I have been working full time for Martin County Youth for Christ in Fairmont, Minnesota. It's been a blessing in more ways than I can even count. I've been a part of YFC since I was 12, and my old youth leader is now my boss. People that I looked up to and respected are now my co-workers, people who consider me an equal. (Not that I don't respect them anymore.) I must say, the best part of this job is the kids I work with. Sure, they annoy the living daylights out of me most of the time, but I can literally see their lives changing, just because I spend a few days a week with them. They finally have someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone they can tell their darkest secrets to, and not have to worry about judgement. Yes, I love my job.

Sadly, I won't be here much longer. In just a few short weeks, I'll be heading to northern Minnesota for a week at a training camp called "Leadership Quest". After I return from there, I'll hopefully have everything set up that I need for my big move to Rochester, MN. After I'm settled in there, working, living, etc, I'll be taking a semester off, and then starting school in the spring, hopefully. I plan to attend Crossroads College, for a degree in youth ministry, and perhaps a minor in family studies, or child psychology.

All things considered, I'm doing great. I've got my health...sort of. I've got a wonderful family, even in the bad times, I love them. I have a beautiful supportive girlfriend. I also recently re-connected with a girl who is one of the best friends I could ever imagine having. God is doing great things. I'll try to keep you all updated in the future.

Peace and Love all-

--Devin

---1 John 4:4

I laughed a few days ago. A deep, hearty, laugh. The likes of which I didn't even remember existed. The thing is, I don't know why I laughed. I was just laying there, and I started laughing. I couldn't stop. It felt amazing, just to laugh, for no reason. Then I realized something...I never laugh. I smile sometimes, and once and a while I'll have a small chuckle...but I never LAUGH. So imagine my surprise when suddenly one night after a concert, I burst into joyous laugh for the first time in a very long time. At first, it shocked me, I mean, I don't laugh! After a few seconds, I realized I was laughing, and that made me laugh harder. Eventually, I was laughing at the fact that I was laughing, and then laughing at myself for laughing at my laugh!

I really needed that laugh, and it came at the perfect time. I'd been stressed to the end of the Earth by things going on back at home. I had been trying to enjoy a nice couple of days away from home with my girlfriend, go to a concert, have a good time...but that didn't exactly happen. I was just laying there, trying to sleep, and thinking about how bad things are getting, wondering how I'm going to deal with it all...and then I started to laugh.

When a could becomes to full of rain...the overflow becomes beautiful rain. When there's too much muffin batter in the cup, it overflows and burns onto the pain. I love eating the burnt muffin :). Basically, my point is, that when I became SO filled with stress that I was at my breaking point...I broke down laughing. To some this may seem contradictory, and at first it did to me as well, but upon thinking about it just a LITTLE bit outside of my normal mindset, I realized that it makes perfect sense.

My mind is fried, and I now there's a lot more that I could say on this subject, but I can't think of it right now. If I think of it, I'll add another post in the next few days.

In the meantime, peace, love, and God bless :) --Devin

Who are we? Who am I?

Recently, I have been doing a re-evaluation of my life, and some of the choices that I've made. Of course I'm not perfect, and I have never made any attempt to claim that I am, or that I'm anywhere even close to it. If anything, I've had a rough life, this is obvious to most who know me. I have been told by total strangers that my face hides wisdom and sorrow that one should never see when looking into the eyes of a 17 year old. Naturally, while coping with these hard times, my choices have not always been the best.

I was contacted recently by somebody who read this blog, and proceeded to contact me via Facebook. The question he posed was a hurtful one; what makes you think you can put yourself above everyone else out there and tell them what God wants. So I wanted to tell everyone exactly who it is that I am. In light of a recent post, I'm going to spare you the details of hearing me complain about the hard times I've been through, but instead simply tell you some of the stupid choices I've made in an attempt to cope.

I am no stranger to a bottle of vodka, or a pack of cigarettes. I have hurt many people to the point that I've hated myself. I've been sexually immoral. I've lied and cheated my way through more things than I care to admit. Through and through, I am no better than any of you.

I don't write on this page to make anyone feel less of themselves. I don't do it to make myself seem lofty and holy. I write on here because I know what life can throw at you, and I'm learning to deal with it. I simply want to help people around the world do the same by sharing a bit of my own struggles.

God tells us that we are ALL sinners, and we have all fallen short of his glory. His glory is perfect, and anyone below God is just that. Below God. No sin is worse than another. My taking a shot and having a cigarette is no better than a terrorist killing thousands with a bomb. At the same time, it is no worse than you telling your parents that you finished your homework when you haven't.

Bottom line. We are all sitting down here in the same doghouse, but there is a light by the door. Or maybe where the chimney should be...I'm not sure which...but not the point! We can all sit here, making a mad dash for the light, knocking anyone we can out of the way on in the mean time, or, we can help one another as much as possible. Getting to the light yourself will feel great, so imagine bringing along 7,000,000,000 (7 billion) of your closest friends.

That's all I've got for today!
--Peace and Love!
--Devin Haegeman

Signs from God.

Perhaps we've all heard the story of the man trapped on his roof in a flood. For those of you who haven't, I'll share it.

A man was trapped on his roof after a flood. A boat came along and offered to help him. He replyed "No thank you, God will save me." The water began to rise again, and another boat came along. Again, he was offered help, and again, he replied, "No thank you, God will save me." Finally, the water was up to his neck, and a helicopter flew low overhead. They offered to help him, but he replied, of course, "No thank you, God will save me." The water again began to rise, and the man drowned. He arrived in heaven, stood before God, and shouted out. "God! Why didn't you save me?!" God, shocked by his outburst, cried out, "What are you talking about!? I sent 2 boats and a helicoptor!"

The point of this story isn't to make you laugh, although if it did, that's good too. The point is, we ask God to do all of these wonderful things for us, and then we refuse to see that he actually does answer them. I myself ran into this problem a while back. My brothers and I have had a really interesting life. Both of them have choose paths of life that are probably not the ones they should go down. I prayed to God over and over and OVER for chances to reach out to them. My older brother David started calling me shortly after I began asking, and would want to hang out or do something. I would always make up some excuse Jas to why i couldn't. Then one night, as I was praying, it stuck me. I was sitting on that roof, the water rising, while God sent boats and helicopters to save me, and I just pushed them away. It was eye opening. Unlike the man in the story, I finally jumped on one of those boats. I realized that God would present the opportunity as long as I could see that he was answering. I took initiative, and was able to re-connect with him. I also realized that the only way God was going to give me the chance to help my little brother, Dakota, was for me to try to get him to open to me as well. I tried, a little hard of heart, and I failed. Then, one night, I realized that I had to let him know that I had gone through just what he is going through before I left my moms house. The funny thing is, that it worked. God sent a boat for him, and this time, I was the one driving it. All we need to do is open ourselves for God to work through us. For without God, we can do NOTHING, but with God, we can do EVERYTHING.

Just some food for thought. Peace and love everyone.

Stop complaning....Please?

It seems that lately, everyone has something to complain about. We sit in our nice homes, surrounded by nice things, people we love and care about...and yet we complain. Two days ago, when a earthquake that hit 7.o on the Rictor Scale hit Haiti, I would say that those people had something to complain about. Yet, watching the news, I see people in the streets, dancing and praising for their lives, praying for those whose condition is still unknown. They have had no food and water for 36 hours. Right now, I could walk less than a minute to my fridge, grab any array of food or drink, and be back here typing in no time. Yet we complain.

I've been dealing with a lot in life lately. My step-mom has had three major surgeries in less than a year. I have lived in three towns, three counties, and gone to three different high schools, all in the past 10 months. A few months ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a disease that causes me to be in constant, chronic pain. Currently, I have no job, thus no money. To be completely blunt, my life is...wonderful. I have my family, my friends, I have God. Of course, I could sit here and complain about how I feel, or what I can't do, but there's no point, is there? If people can dance and praise in the streets for every life that has been spared after such devestation, why do we sit and complain because we can't afford the latest gadgets?

It is my honest belief that God will provide. For Haiti, for me, for you. For all of us. Many only turn to him in their time of need, and he will always answer (though maybe not how you planned). God is ALWAYS there. We see him in the good times, but blame him for the bad. He will never leave or forsake you. Never harm or hinder you. Never...run out of coffee? (Seriously, good stuff.)

Whatsoever You Do...

-Love. Who among us can define love...can anyone? Some would say that love is a feeling, or an emotion. Others would say that love is a conscious choice. Still others would tell you that love cannot exist. Me? I've been struggling with love a lot lately. I can honestly say that I love Rachel. I love my friends, most of my family, and even a few people who are merely "acquaintances." Heck, I can even say without a doubt that I love my mother, and some of you know how hard that is to believe.

- 43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[b] and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)

-After reading that verse, I realized that, although I thought I'd been doing a dang good job of loving people. But Love my enemies? Pray for people who knock me down? Really? Deep in my pride filled heart, I read that verse, and wonder what the heck Jesus was smoking. That verse is telling me, that when someone insults me, I'm supposed to let it glance off me like nothing happened, and respond to it by bringing them before my Lord?

-"Love with actions and truth, not with words"
--When I was told this, it made perfect sense to me, It's not hard to SHOW my love to someone...right? Upon some deep thinking, I realized the opposite. It is so easy for me to look at a close friend of mine, or at Rachel, or her mom (pause to laugh/chuckle here) and say "Hey, I love you." But showing it? How do you SHOW love? So I came up with a little list of ways to show love to people without telling them.

---Hug them (MY FAVORITE.)
---Sit and talk to them. (Make sure to listen)
---Ask them about their day
---Give something to someone who needs what you have.
---Smile at someone on the street.
---Give compliments (but be sincere)
---Greet people
---Whatever you think is loving*

-But even with all of this...I still remain totally blind on exactly how to love someone...so I took a look at how Jesus loved. Jesus was a crazy brotha. He walked around loving on everyone. Everyone. By that, I mean the rich, and the poor. Those with mansions, and those with nothing. The wise man, and the blind man. The pharisee, and the prostitute. He didn't judge, never turned away from someone who needed his help, commanded all of his followers to love their enemies as their friends, and the un-righteous as the righteous. This is love, is it not? Looking at a person, and seeing everyone the same? Not one person is better than another.

-I want to take on that love. Too see a homeless man, and love him as much as, albeit in a totally different way, I love Rachel. To do this, we must look to John the baptist. John was a man who humbled himself before the Lord...taking no credit for any of his work, but giving it all to God.

- 19Now this was John's testimony when the Jews of Jerusalem sent priests and Levites to ask him who he was. 20He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely, "I am not the Christ.[a]"

21They asked him, "Then who are you? Are you Elijah?"
He said, "I am not."
"Are you the Prophet?"
He answered, "No."

22Finally they said, "Who are you? Give us an answer to take back to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?"

23John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, "I am the voice of one calling in the desert, 'Make straight the way for the Lord.' "[b]

24Now some Pharisees who had been sent 25questioned him, "Why then do you baptize if you are not the Christ, nor Elijah, nor the Prophet?"

26"I baptize with[c] water," John replied, "but among you stands one you do not know. 27He is the one who comes after me, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie." (John 1:19-27)

-Some may still wonder how on earth I can expect to love the ones we deem unlovable. Jesus tells us that it is those people whom he is in. So when we see those in need, and we help them, we help Christ.

-31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life." (Matthew 25:31-46)

-So, if y'all need some loving...look me up, I got your back.

"Inherently Confused"

Humans. Some would say that we are the superior race of the Earth, and rule it with an iron hand. Some would say that the Earth is all powerful, and we are constantly bending to her will. Others would say that God controls the Earth, and that man is at the hand of both. Still others would say that God is a big bully with a magnifying glass, and we are ants, burned and tortured, one by one.

Truthfully, the human race is more complex than any of us realizes. We wish to fit in, to blend into a crowd, to be accepted. While at the same time, anyone we exclude anyone we view as "different." We want to be successful, yet we hold others back. We want money and things, and yet no matter what we get, we will never be satisfied. What can we call this? Some would say "Human Nature." Others will tell you "It's a problem, but we can do nothing with it."

Is this truly so? Can we not be comfortable in our surroundings without blending in? When I walk into a church, wearing ratty jeans and my Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt, will I be accepted? Sadly, the answer to this is probably no. When I walk into a church full of men in suits and ties, and women in dresses or nice blouses, I am different. I will not be accepted, because they don't know how to react. What if Jesus were to walk into their midst? Long shaggy hair, a beard like a lions mane, in a scratchy robe and sandals...what would they say to him? Would they accept him? Or would they do what the Romans did, and cast him down for his differences?

Would it be so difficult to help out our fellow man? We all have places to be, things to do, people to see, etc. So in our rush to rule the world, we blow past the little things. We no longer stop to smell the daisies along the beaten path. When did progress for the sake of progress become acceptable? The belief that we must all be number one is ruining lives, dreams, and families. Statistics show that if you own a car, live in a house, and have a job, you are richer than ninety percent of the world. Should this not be enough?

America has been called the land of the free. Home of the brave. The land of opportunity. Truly, it is the land of those free to lie to us. The home of those not brave enough to stand up to corrupt politicians. The land where we pass up opportunity to sit around and mope that our neighbor makes more than we do. A country that has banished the God is was founded on.

Humans have been called "Inherently Good" by some. Still others have labeled us as "Inherently Evil." In the end, I believe these are both false. We know not what we want, or how to get what we think we want. Truthfully and wholly, human beings are "Inherently Confused."

Islam is not synonymous with "Terrorist."

Many people know little to nothing about the many religions of our world, yet find it in their agenda to judge the world on a title. Recently, I've been doing a lot of study on the connections between Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. Many people fail to see that all of these have one common root. Many fail to realize that when you break it down, they all worship the same God. So I'm going to break it down for them.

Judaism finds it's roots in Issac, son of Father Abraham. Issac was the only legitimate son that Abraham had with his wife, Rebbecca. There are two sects of Jews, the Orthodox, or religious Jews, and the Unorthodox Jews. The name of the latter being self explanatory. As far as my understanding goes, the difference in the two is a religion, and a nation. That could be wrong, but moving on.

Christianity has the very same foundation as Judaism, without many of the customs. Jews believe that their Messiah is yet to come, Christians are simply Jews that believe that Jesus was, is, and will forever be, that Messiah. The two religions above I will say no more on, because many of you know the story behind the two.

When I say the word "Islam," or "Muslim," many of you jump into your bomb shelters and prepare to wait out an air raid. The simple thing you all need to know right off, is that Muslims are not terrorists. Many terrorists are Muslim, but to assume that many Muslims are terrorists is both stereotypical and racist. Islam also finds its roots right back as Father Abraham. Before Issac was born, Abraham and Rebbecca thought they were not able to have children. Because Abraham needed an heir, Rebbecca had him sleep with her servant, Hagar. She was soon pregnant, and gave birth to a son, Ishmael. When Issac was born, Rebbecca had Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael, her son, into the wilderness. They wandered, and are said to have been found by God, and given water. The place they were given that water is now called "Mecca," the holiest city in Islam. Moving forward a few years, and by a few, I mean a lot. It was many years after the birth and death, and resurrection of Christ that the prophet Mohammad came along. He claimed that "Allah" or "God" had spoke to him how Muslims should live their lives, and collected these teachings in the Holy Quran. The five pillars of Islam are Faith, Prayer, Fasting, Poor-due (giving to the poor), and Hajj (the pilgramage to Mecca). When you look at the Islamic faith, it is remarkably similar to Judaism in many ways, but as my History teacher pointed out, Muslims have more faith than those in any other religion. We look down on them, but should we not want a faith like that for our own God?

Now I'll address the radical Muslims. Mohammad's teachings told Muslims to "Defend the faith against infidels." An Infidel is anyone who does now practice Islamic faith. The Muslim extremeists took that to mean, "If they don't worship Allah, cut their heads off, or drive planes into them. That'll teach them." I've had Muslim friends, none of them have ever driven a plane at me, and i still have my head. As far as i know, there has been no cynide in my food, nor hoses leaking posion gasses into my bedroom. Bottom line, we need to stop assuming that every man wearing a turban, is wearing a bomb. Believe it or not, they ARE sold seperatly. So next time you see someone who is clearly of Islamic faith, instead of judging, respect them, and go on your way.

Peace and Love guys.

"Christianity"

I’ve noticed a few things lately that have been getting on my nerves. The biggest of which is the fact that many people who call themselves “Christian“, have no qualms about looking at a person they see on a street, and judging them. Many “Christians” would look at a man with tattoos and piercing, and frown upon him. I once walked through the streets of St. Paul with a “Christian” group, and one of our LEADERS told me it was stupid to give three dollars in change to a homeless man. He told me that the man would simply go out and buy alcohol with it. Take it from this angle, what would Jesus have done? I can’t really know, but I can only assume that he would have sat with the man, and helped him in anyway that he could. Are we not to live our lives as close to his as we can? Why is it then that “Christians” take on the “high and mighty” attitude that has brought so many negative connotations to the Christian faith.

I’m not saying that we all need to become Jesus. I know that I’m far from it, and I don’t know anyone who is anywhere close to it. That’s the point. The point is that we are TOO far from it. When did looking down at everyone we encounter become ok? It’s been this way forever. It’s sick and wrong. Does nobody see that in doing this, we are becoming what we most hate? Am I the only one who hates it so much? I know I cannot possibly be. It’s time to step up and do as Christ would have us do. Throw down our egos and learn a little humility (that is a word, ask my girlfriend)

Peace and Love

Narcissism and Pessimism

Looking at the world, I sometimes see a dark, corrupt, crooked world. Other times, I look out, and see the beautiful things created by God. All around the world, people are at war with their neighbors. Left and right, everywhere we look, we see parents divorcing, children without direction through the world, hate and stress causing pain all around. All of this is contradicted if you look just a little deeper. How many people, when you ask them what they see in the world, would tell you that they see the grace of God everyday? A woman plagued with cancer, healed, and allowed to live her life. A young mother holding her beautiful smiling little boy. We seldom see the beauty in the dark world.

But this should not be so. Where there is light, there can be no darkness. One tiny candle can illuminate an entire room in darkness. Darkness is the absence of light. But if there is light, there can be no darkness. So how is it that there is so much darkness in our world? Should not the little things all around us cast the darkness into light? The truth is, we have become accustomed to expect the worse. We look for the negativity in life, and it is all we see. We look right past the small joys in life, and automatically see a huge negative picture. I'm guilty of it as well. In reality, we all need to stop being so narcissistic and pessimistic, see what God is doing in our world, and do whatever we can to do HIS work, stop thinking about ourselves, and take on a servants heart.

Peace and Love all.